The Tale of Oogie and Boogie, Part 6
The Conclusion (Sort Of)
As we wrap up this series of pithy observations and attempts at humor, mixed with suggestions that might have some value, I want to encourage you again to visit my Buy Me A Coffee page and offer some financial support for The Expat Life. No, I am not a starving artist but every contribution is truly appreciated. C’mon. What’s a the price of a cup of coffee to you?
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As promised, this is the end of the road for Oogie and Boogie, those teenage neolithic social innovators, and their legacy, the LCM, the lifetime-commitment monogamous marriage.
Let me clarify that statement. This is the end of my commentary about LCM marriage. That neolithic institution is probably going to continue with us for some time. It will be favored by incurable romantics, religious fanatics, and implacable contrarians. The divorce attorney’s lobby will continue to praise the virtues of LCM - their cash cow - and loudly proclaim that it is traditional, universally recognized, and already in place. Predictably, disparaging comments will be made about the ART (annual-but-renewable) marriage form by the mother-in-law’s union. And old people who get toothless satisfaction from gleefully muttering, “They’re too young to get married,” will object… because, well, because it is common for old people to resist and be suspicious of change.
There are some, regrettably, who will reason that, “I had to endure it. I don’t want the new generation to have it easier than I did as a rookie.” This is the same argument that has been used to justify continuing hazing incoming freshmen, 120-hour workweeks for medical interns, discrimination due to ethnic group, upgrading to more efficient tools, and using graduate students as indentured servants. (Luddites of the world, rise up to resist such improvements, social or technological, even if more people would be more happy and more productive.)
There are even those who will intone, “If it ain’t broke, don’t fix it.” Well, I’ve got news for them: It is broke. The millions of unhappy marriages, creative drives and professional lives ruined or stunted, and the generations of neglected, angry, disillusioned children growing up to form them own unhappy marriages are the result of a stubborn adherence to something that is outdated and simply doesn’t fit the present era.
It doesn’t matter. We truly are in a new era with new conditions and new demographics. All of their arguments and hypocritical poise will not endure against a flood of irrefutably satisfactory results after ART marriage becomes more common.
Such resistance is ignoring the fact that, a mere one hundred years ago (before the discovery of penicillin, the first modern antibiotic) life was fundamentally different. Life expectancy was shorter and life was more dangerous. True, we still have wars and pestilence but, for the majority of the world’s population, their standard of living is hugely improved over their great-grandparents of 100 years ago. In those more perilous times, it was not uncommon for an adult to survive the death of a spouse, then remarry - perhaps several times. Thus our present practice of serial marriage was created long before we increased life expectancy, standard of living, and leisure time sufficiently to develop the conditions for the multi-decade unhappy marriage.
While we are looking back though, let’s consider another social innovation that was breaking news 100 years ago, something that was comparable in impact to antibiotics. I’m referring to the automobile replacing the horse as the standard means of transportation. I’m sure there was lots of opposition from vested interests and contrarians who argued that the automobile was unnatural, unproven, unreliable, etc. when compared to the traditional, familiar, lovable horse. But the superiority of the automobile over the horse was irrefutable and the conversion was amazingly quick. You don’t see many people riding a horse to work today, do you? (Not surprisingly, the various arguments about the superiority of the horse were quickly silenced the first time they had to ride their horse to work in the rain.)
So, let’s conclude this commentary on the venerable, traditional, time-proven, religion-approved, never-to-be-replaced vehicle, the horse, er, the MLC marriage. Let’s look at how to alleviate the situation caused by MLC’s inadequacies and poor fit with modern life. As the upgrade, I proposed the annual-but-renewable form of marriage as a simple, acceptable, effective modification to the MLC contract.
No, it’s not one-size-fits-all. No, it’s not perfect. And, yes, it would have to continue to adapt and evolve to meet changing conditions in the future. But… it offers the possibility of a happier society, composed of happier couples and happier children.
You’re welcome.
The End.
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And, as hinted in the title, tune in next week for some thought exercises as we explore some related tangential issues. Remember your trigonometry class in school? Tangent = Opposite/Adjacent? Well, Part 7 is not that kind of tangent.
And while you are trying to imagine what related tangential LCM issues might look like, please visit my Buy Me A Coffee page and make a small donation. Think of it as “Save the Whales” for expats.