28 - Take Action
Let me begin with a rather unpleasant truth. If you are like most people, you have been wasting your time reading all these articles. Why? I am going to assume anyone who reads something with a title that implies change and reinvention of their life is at least somewhat unhappy with their present circumstances. Presumably, they are in that rather large set of people that Thoreau described as living lives of “quiet desperation”. Maybe you are in that group and looking for ways to leave it. So why do I say you – or, at least, most people - are wasting your time?
Short Answer: Most people will read this collection of expat-related subjects, admonitions, and observations without changing their behaviors. If so, the concept of achieving an expat lifestyle will remain only that… a concept. A week from now, a month from now, or a year from now, nothing in their life will have changed as a result of reading all these hundreds of words. Except for a brief warm and fuzzy feeling because you felt like you were doing something, it was time wasted.
I should elaborate upon that statement. I was thinking of the things you can control in your life; this is only a tiny subset of all our activities. Be assured that Life will continue to toss at you the unpredictable twist, the random encounter, the totally unexpected, the occasional Bad Hair Day, and, as always, the effects of The Second Law of Thermodynamics which says that matter (including human life) will always tend to move toward greater entropy – or, as Gordon MacQuarrie beautifully stated it, towards “mild-to-acute chaos”.
Simply put, if you keep going in the direction you’re headed… you’re gonna get there. Specifically, if you don’t take active steps to change your life’s direction, nothing significant will change. A year from today, people who read these words but do not take any action steps to implement changes in their life - physical, repetitive, measurable, verifiable changes - will be… merely 12 months older. Their habits will be one year more fossilized; the original reasons for reading about expatdom (unhappiness, feeling overwhelmed, frustration verging on rage, etc.) will be unchanged… or maybe worse.
Remember, if you don’t like the direction you’re headed and you want to change your future, I said that you must take action, not just read. Nothing will change until you take action steps to change your behaviors and your habits - including your habitual ways of thinking. Maybe that will mean becoming an expat, living in a new time zone. Maybe it will mean just a new worldview but from the same address.
Action, not reading and visualizing, is the essential requirement. Action is the only solution if you are asking yourself, “How did I get myself into this mess – and how do I get out of it?” To truly reinvent a new life from your present situation will require changing direction – and action is the key.
Let’s examine the opposite side of that coin. Failure to take action means failure to change. Sure, you can get excited about visualizing a new and improved life but, without action – consistent, focused, consciously chosen action – nothing will change. It’s like the athletes say, “You gotta do the reps.” Without action, each day will be like waking up in the morning after a great dream. As the dream fades, you realize that you are still the same old person in the same old life.
I remember an incident from my past. My father and uncle were discussing a man in our hometown who had made grand, public pledges to donate large sums of money to a certain cause. He was getting lots of praise and honors for his announcement. My father simply said, “Until somebody puts some money on the table, all you have is talk.” Dad meant talk doesn’t pay for buildings; let’s see some cash.
Consider a concrete example: Let’s assume you want to run a marathon. You want to be one of those people who proudly wear a t-shirt proclaiming to the world that you completed a 26-mile/42-Kilometer race. Really, it’s simple enough: Run the race; wear the t-shirt. To get that t-shirt, however, you first have to change your life. You make preparing for the marathon a high priority. You take action steps - lots of them literally. You also read books and articles about preparing for and equipping for and eating for and training for running a marathon. It is highly beneficial if you can find some kindred spirits to go with on those training runs and the 5K and 10K races as you build up to the marathon distance. In fact, it helps if you can immerse yourself in that marathoner world in every way possible.
But those are not the most important steps necessary to complete a marathon. Yes, if you are going to run a marathon, you should do all that reading and preparing, planning and committing. But their purpose is to fine-tune your daily training runs. The essential – indeed, the only – action requirement is to get your butt out of bed a little earlier in the morning and start running to condition your body to meet the physical demands of a marathon. And you don’t do those training runs once or twice. To have any realistic chance of completing a marathon, you should be prepared to take months to go from complete beginner to qualified t-shirt wearer because you ran in and completed a marathon. That’s why you will be damn proud to wear that t-shirt and why you will share an unspoken bond with others who have also earned the right to wear one.
Almost everything in life is like that. If you want to learn to cook, speak persuasively in front of a group, play the piano, converse fluently in a new language, or build happy, fulfilling relationships, you have to take certain action steps and repeat them consistently over a period of time. That is why it’s called “putting in the reps”. Sometimes, you see the results quickly; usually, however, it takes a long time to make the transition.
Researching for information and inspiration helps, associating with other people with similar goals or interests makes it more efficient, having the right equipment makes it more efficient – but nothing will replace the fundamental necessity of taking meaningful action.
My point is very simple: Nothing will change permanently in your life until you change your behaviors - specifically, until you take physical action steps. If you do nothing except read, dream, visualize, identify, clarify, plan, or whatever else you can do while still continuing your old behaviors, nothing in your life is going to change. Back to that marathon analogy, thinking about crossing the finish line may give you a warm glow of satisfaction… but it ain’t gonna happen if you don’t regularly take the actions to wear out some running shoes.
Indeed, some authorities are warning us that such visualizations can actually be counterproductive. Since our brain cannot tell the difference between a vivid mental image of finishing that marathon and physically crossing the finish line in real life, we can feel the satisfaction without ever breaking a sweat. Don’t fall into this trap. Visualize, plan, research, prepare… sure. But they will not replace taking action. Whatever your dream or goal is - including reinventing yourself in an expat life - you begin by taking action.
Action Step: If you are ready to make a commitment about consciously reinventing your life, begin by answering this question: What is one action I can take today that will show I am serious about achieving an expat life? Then take that step. Maybe, at the end of a long, long chain of action steps in the right direction, you will find yourself an expat living a more satisfying, simple, rewarding life.
Let me repeat: I said “action step”. Admonitions and principles about reinventing your life are especially relevant if you are considering the expat lifestyle. Besides the benefits of working remotely – really, really remotely in some cases – there are other significant advantages. But you will never experience those advantages if you don’t take action.