13 Becoming an Expat – Step Zero

Where are you on the path to expatdom? What is holding you back? This section explores changing our habitual way of thinking, a precursor for any successful transition. As Einstein said, “We cannot solve our problems with the same thinking we used when we created them.” As an expat, I have adopted a bicultural worldview; that changes everything.

I had an interesting experience last year which led to an insight into the expat mindset. Today, I live in a large city on the other side of the world from where I grew up in a small town in the Midwestern US. The catalyst for my reflections was a letter I was asked to write to my son’s primary school teachers, describing my hopes and expectations for him and his school. Composing such a letter will make anyone pause and reflect.

The concept of reinventing yourself seems to be a popular topic of conversation in recent years. Perhaps this is a reflection of a general unhappiness and uncertainty many people are experiencing currently. Or maybe this is a timeless human trait; after we humans have met the minimum conditions for survival, we begin to look around and ask ourselves if there might be a better way to live.

Throughout all recorded history, there has never been a better time to be an expat. Around the globe, advances in technology and the increased discretionary time brought about by those advances, mean that we live in a world rich in opportunities for taking our life in new directions. For some, that means literally in new directions as an expat. Internet access allows us to observe people and their lifestyles around the planet. We begin to realize we are not limited to the roles available in our immediate physical environment.

However, the very first step in the reinvention process doesn’t require moving to a new time zone. It doesn’t even require a coach, a role model, or a self-help book. If you are deeply discontented, living what Thoreau called a life of “quiet desperation”, the very first step on the expat journey is to change your thinking. We might call it the Zeroth Step.

This mental shift comes first. It comes before any clarification about the exact location for a relocation. It comes before any classes or online courses, and before planning and gathering of resources. Indeed, this comes before the studying and staging, before any announcements or commitments, before the first hesitant action step. It comes even before you make the conscious decision to change. All those things are part of the process but the very, very first step of reinventing your life is to recognize that it is possible for you to make such a change, that you are not stuck forever where you are now, as the person you are now. This epiphany marks the beginning. First you change your thinking; then you change how you want to live your life… then you change where you live.

Modern technology has made us far less dependent upon the group of people that we see outside our window. Indeed, if you don’t like the people you see, it is easier than ever before to change your view by changing your window. You are not stuck with one window, one view, and one group forever. If you don’t fit in, if you’re not happy where you are, if you don’t think like the people outside your window, it is easy to search for a place where you might find people who think a different way, following different rules. You can find a place where your current groupthink is not rigidly enforced. Can you say “expat”?

In a prehistoric hunter-gatherer society, groupthink was useful. It is still useful today; it allows one to avoid the hard work of thinking.  But, back in the hunter-gatherer days, following the crowd was essential. Individual survival did, after all, depend upon being a member of the tribe. Individuals needed the group for protection from a hostile environment. There was a definite risk in breaking the tribal norms. It was more than merely lonely if you were cast out of the group; it was dangerous to be alone in the woods.

But those societies were rather static; doing things the same old way carried very little downside. Modern technology had not yet appeared to create wide gaps between those who used technology and those who refused to adopt the changes technology brought. Until fairly modern times, the king and the beggar both depended on a simple fire for staying warm; they both walked or rode a horse for getting places. The differences between them were hardly measurable.

In today’s world, that gap is very wide and rapidly getting wider. You may master the latest apps available on your smartphone or see the amazing boosts in productivity by utilizing artificial intelligence. But, while you are benefiting from some of the possibilities available today, you may be standing next to someone whose only use of a smartphone is as a telephone… or a boat anchor.  

It is true that you cannot force someone to think; you cannot make people aware of all the possibilities open to them. But there is no excuse for you as an individual not initiating changes in your own life. Even if you get cast out into a modern version of the cold and dark woods, you will find other individuals there to join for mutual support and protection.

If you never examine your habitual way of thinking, you cannot change your habits. If you fail to open your eyes to see new and improved ways of doing things, you will never take the first step in reinventing yourself. The process doesn’t begin with a physical relocation; it starts with thinking… or, rather, the realization that you can change the way you think. That is the Zeroth Step. Then you are ready for the next step in exploring the world… maybe as an expat.